Bring the Score Back to Kids Sports

In the recreational youth soccer league that my kids recently participated in, one thing I noticed was that a scoreboard wasn’t found anywhere on the field. I’d often overhear parents on the sidelines whispering the score after a goal or pull out their tally sheet to keep track. It made me wonder if keeping score was beneficial or not.

Keeping score is something that should be occurring at all levels of kids sports. As long as competition remains healthy, coach’s continue to teach effectively, and parents encourage their kids, the score is just a part of the game.  Let’s take a  closer look at how the score benefits kids and helps with development.

No Score: Is it for the kid’s or parents

It’s somewhat ironic because it seems that taking the score away from kid’s sports is more to keep the adults under control, than the effects the scoreboard has on the kids.

Parents are still keeping score and are as passionate as ever about their kid’s performance.

As a coach, I learned that the kids recover from losses a lot quicker than I did. I’d go home after a loss and could dwell on it for days, but the kids would show up to practice the next day as if the game had never happened.

I think about how as a player, losing stung in that moment, but I accepted that it was part of the competition, and it never determined who I was as a kid.

Benefits of Keeping Score

In my experiences coaching, playing, and being a father of kids in sports, these are some of the reasons I believe it’s beneficial to keep the scoreboard on.

It’s How Sports were Designed

Sports were originated from the Olympic games hundreds of years ago designed to compete against one another.

So sports were virtually created for the purpose of competition, which is a major element that the scoreboard adds to the games.

Without that competition, it can feel like kids are just out playing in the park with some jerseys on.

Helps kids to play the game Right

There are certain strategies and elements to various sports that get lost without the score.

Some of the edge is taken off the game without the score, causing it to be more like a glorified practice.

Little nuances to the game get lost without the score, for example stealing a base in baseball.  It’s a big part of the game that wouldn’t be a factor if teams weren’t trying to score.

These types of things occur with games without the score or just participation leagues that can frustrate me as a coach.

Purpose to the Game

When you score a basket or kick a goal it can add more meaning when it’s counted and going towards something with the team.

Trying to emphasize giving your best effort without a score lacks substance behind it.

The score can give us that extra motivation to want to perform at our highest level.

My daughter played in a co-ed recreational soccer league and ended up on the only team of all girls.

They were very competitive and played a lot of hard fought games.

Some of the teams they played were all boys teams.  Although some of the girls seemed apprehensive at first going up against these teams, they soon realized that they could compete with the boys.

Having the score displayed could’ve helped the girls feel even better about their ability against the other teams or given them that extra push.

What to Work On

Stats can help increase self-confidence when you are performing at a high level, but also help you to know areas for improvement.

It helps guide coaches to know what types of fundamentals need to be corrected in practices.

Kids can be more self-aware of what they are excelling at or what areas they can grow in.

Learn about Winning and Losing

Kids can gain an understanding of how to win and lose the right way.

Kids are going to be faced with winning and losing throughout life.  Trying to take that away from sports will not allow kids to process the win/loss or prepare them for experiences in the future.

Kids can learn that losing doesn’t have to be an end-all experience, but can be used to learn from.

Winning and losing can help kids to learn the value of good sportsmanship.

I write a post on sportsmanship that you can check out here.

Sports Leagues and Coaches can still celebrate things like participation, teamwork, effort, and individual accomplishments within the framework of winning and losing.

Just because a team came out on the losing side of the scoreboard, doesn’t mean that nothing good came out of that experience.

Setting Up for Failure

Not having the score and turning the sports experience into an “everybody is a winner” could actually be harmful to our kids.

Yes, I’m a big believer in creating a fun experience and believe that fun should be at the forefront of youth sports, but it’s also important for kids to grow through participation.

Kids are going to struggle, they’re going to face challenges, having gone through those in sports will help them be more resilient.

Play a Tournament at the End

If the leagues aren’t going to keep score, have an end of the year tournament so kids can experience a more competitive event.

Instead of just handing out a medal to everyone at the end of the year, recreational leagues can highlight accomplishments, as well as a competitive winner on the field.

Goal Setting

A lot of what kids do in sports is working towards accomplishing the goal of winning.

Take for example basketball, basketball wasn’t designed for all the kids to just stand and shoot at the hoop.

There are various skills to be learned like properly defending or passing techniques that help build up to winning a basketball game.

The same can be said for all team sports.

So, kids miss out on some of those opportunities to learn how to set and accomplish goals without a score.

Kids are Smart

Kids know what’s going on in the game.

They understand when the opposing team is scoring a lot more than they are or when they are being overwhelmed by their opponent.

When I grew up just playing pickup games, we always kept score, whether it was playing in the driveway or out at the park.

Balance is Key

I wrote a post asking the question, “Are Youth Sports too Competitive?”

I discussed my opinion that a mentality of win at all costs can be detrimental to kids, but I still believe playing to win is beneficial.

It’s about restoring the balance between having fun and competition for kids sports.

It’s maintaining the balance of parents supporting their kids versus parents putting unrealistic demands on their kids in youth sports.

Keeping score is part of the game, it’s making sure the other parts of what make sports enjoyable are still part of the game.

Understanding of Self-Worth

It can cause anxiety for anyone believing that they have to be perfect to always win.

Kids that don’t have a taste of losing, may begin to see losing as some sort of harm that will be too overwhelming to deal with.

As kids experience losing at a young age, while being able to be taught how to handle it properly, they can disconnect from the belief that losing is tied to self-worth.

Kids can identify that even though losing may not feel great in the moment, it doesn’t determine how they are as a person.

I think this is a major key to allowing kids to partake in healthy competition.

Preparing them to play in the Future

I don’t foresee high school sports shutting down scoreboards in the near future.

I’d like to think that kids would handle losing or being cut from high school sports a lot easier if they’ve had a taste of winning and losing while playing sports growing up.

It could be a major blow to a kid that has been handed a medal every season for participation and told that everyone’s a winner if that kid then has to deal with things like sitting the bench, losing, or being cut.

How to teach our Kids to Handle Losing

When the score is in place kids will have to cope with losing. As parents and coaches, we can be there to help kids gain a better understanding of winning and losing. Here are a few tips that can help as parents and coaches to support kids when they lose the game.

• Set an Example: If you are screaming, pouting, and dejected after a loss kids are going to feed on that. Set the tone by maintaining good body language, shaking the hands of your opponents, being respectful to the other team, and helping kids learn from the outcome.
• Point out What Kids did right: Praise kids for things they did throughout the game to support one another as teammates. Acknowledge them for the efforts they are making. Show positive reinforcements from some of the skills that they’ve been getting better at.
• Be a Good Listener: Be that shoulder to cry on for your kids and allow them to express their feelings. Help them to feel that they are heard and understood. Teach them about healthy ways to cope with feelings of frustration.
• Respect Opponents: Help kids to treat their opponents with respect by doing things like shaking hands after the game, thanking them for playing, or telling them they played a good game. When they win, they don’t need to showboat or rub it in the other teams face.
• Show them Perspective: Everyone loses at some point. Keep the criticism to a minimum to allow kids to process defeat. Help kids to understand the lessons they can learn from defeat, that defeat is only temporary, and can help them identify ways to improve for next time.

All things considered, taking the score away may have intended to serve a good purpose, but the benefits for our kids to participate in sports is with the scoreboard on. Instead of whispering the scores amongst ourselves as parents on the sidelines, we may be better served by advocating for leagues to display the scores at our children’s games.

Please comment below on anything you enjoyed from this post or thoughts on keeping score in kids sports.