Helping Kids through Performance Anxiety in Sports

We can all probably think back to a time when we stepped onto the court or field with the jitters.  I remember one of my first basketball games where I felt like I would throw up and could barely feel my legs. Let’s just say it wasn’t my best game.  Performance anxiety is a normal part of sports, but sometimes it can become something more than a natural occurrence.

Is performance anxiety in kids sports bad?  Not necessarily.  When kids experience performance anxiety that takes the joy out of participating in sports, performance is frequently suffering, it diminishes self-worth, or carries over into other parts of their lives, than it’s a problem.  For kids that experience some pregame jitters, it can actually help them when they recognize it as excitement or harness that energy into their performance.

Why Do We Get Anxious Playing a Sport

Sports are meant to be enjoyed, so why can they be a cause of stress.  We all spent hours on end in the backyard or driveway envisioning ourselves succeeding like our favorite athletes, but it still doesn’t always seem to take away that pressure of everyone is watching.

Some factors that can contribute to increased anxiety for kids in sports include:

Living up to expectations

When kids have to face the outside pressures of the need to perform at a high level, it can be crippling.  Kids want to impress their peers, coaches, and parents which can put a lot of weight on their shoulders.

Perfectionism or Have to Win

Having that mentality of winning is everything can be detrimental to kids.  If kids are afraid to make mistakes, they often find themselves doing that which they fear will happen.  This ties into the fear of failure, which can lead to self-sabotaging.

Negative Thoughts

Getting caught up in negative thought patterns like worry, depression, beating yourself up, can quickly become a viscous cycle that can lead to increased anxiety.

Uncertainty

If kids have no idea of what to expect for that first game, all the suspense just festers and builds inside them.  When you don’t know what something is going to be like, sometimes it’s easy to start playing various scenarios in your mind which could be good or bad.

Everybody is watching or Stage Fright

There is just something about being in front of a large group of people that can be fearful.  Public speaking has been one of the most common human fears throughout humanity.  Performance can bring out similar effects.

How Do We Recognize Our Kids Performance Anxiety

We as parents and/or Coaches may be excited to see our kids perform and cheer them on.  As coaches, we have seen all the work they have put in at practice, now all that gets to be put on display during a game.

In our excitement, we may forgot about what is going on in our kid’s heads leading up to a game.

It can be easy to lose sight of our empathy, when we are caught up in anticipation of competition.  It may behoove us to step back for a moment and remember what it was like for us in their shoes.

One challenge with anxiety is that the intensity that it is on the inside can be difficult to spot from an outsider’s perspective.  Here are some things to look for:

• They could be more quiet or withdrawn then typical
• Change in sleep patterns either more or less
• Increase in Irritability
• Difficulty Focusing or Daydreaming
• Flat affect and mood change
• Not finding joy in performing
• Deer in the Head Lights Look

These are a few possible signs, which may or may not mean that your child is feeling some performance anxiety, but definitely some things to look out for.

Often times our kids aren’t going to come and tell us that they are feeling anxious, but it’s ok if we discuss it with them.  We can help them to feel comfortable and that they aren’t alone.

When is Performance Anxiety a Cause for Concern

As previously mentioned, it’s normal for kids, or even adults, to get a little amped up before a game or performance.  It’s totally a part of the experience to feel some of those physiological effects, but when is it too much.

If it’s happening on a frequent basis where performance is consistently affected, that’s a good indication there is a problem.  If your child loved the sport they were playing, but suddenly despises it, then the stress of performing may be too much.

When anxiety starts to carry over into other areas of your child’s life, effecting the quality of life, it may be beneficial to get professional help from a therapist.

How Can Parents and Coaches Help Calm Kids Nerves

As we become more aware of what our kids may be going through leading up to the big game, it can help us take a more empathetic approach as parents and coaches.

Doing those things to help our kids to feel more comfortable in their skin, will create the confidence for kids to thrive in sports and life.

A few thing that coaches can do:

Take the Pressure Off

Remind your kids that you love and support them regardless of the outcome of the game.  Help them to understand that it’s ok to make mistakes by teaching.

I write a post called How a Coaches Sandwich technique improves parenting and success, discussing utilization of a positive strategy for helping kids correct mistakes.

Lose the Win at all Cost Mentality

Yes, as coaches we are competitive and want to win, but if that’s all we emphasize and instill in our kids, it’s going to create added pressure.  Instead of constantly talking about winning, focus more on setting goals and the journey.  Winning will take care of itself.

Utilize Psychology

Practicing things like mindfulness, breathing, and visualization can all be effective.  So, you don’t have to turn your practices into group therapy, but there are great ways to incorporate these things into some practices.

Check out Kids’ Sports Psychology to get more insight on implementing some of these techniques.

Go Hard in Warmups

If you know your child is a little antsy about the game, encourage them to go all out during the warm up routine.  This will allow them to get the blood flowing through out their body and to burn off some of that cortisol before the whistle starts play.

Getting a good intense pregame warm up will help your child to alleviate some of that pressure that’s building up to the game.  They can make some mistakes in warm-up and realize that it’s ok.

Coaches should create a warm-up routine that serves this purpose.  I often see laxidasical warm-up routines that really become an afterthought and don’t really serve the kids.

Create a Game-like Atmosphere in Practice

Coaches can replicate some of the things that kids will face in a game, so it’s not a big surprise or more natural when game day arrives.

Creating pressure situations in practice, which is a safe zone, can help distress the game day experience.  Doing walkthroughs can help kids to understand exactly what is going to take place on game day.

Here are a few things that parents can do:

Be a Support

I write a post called Be a CHEERleader that gives an acronym for parents to be great on the sidelines when cheering their kids on.  Encourage your kids regardless of what happens in the game or what the score says.

Communicate with Your Kids

Talk to your kids about what they are doing well, what they are liking about sports, and how they’re feeling leading up to competitions.

Kids often keep things bottled up inside and it can take some effort on the parent’s part to help the child open up.

Ditch Their Agenda

Sometimes, even though we as parents want the best for our kids, it can be more about what we want then what they actually want.

Pushing them too hard or thinking that they need to become professional athletes, may cause added stressors and loss of enjoyment in the sport.

Let’s not try to relive our glory days through our kids.  Help your kids to have fun, read my post on How Parents Can Bring Fun Back to Youth Sports.

Building Confidence in Kids Sports

Even with some of the performance pressures that can come with youth sports, sports are still a great way to build confidence.  Sports can create an environment for self-exploration and learning.

When paired with small successes and positive support, it becomes a vessel for creating confidence.  Teams can foster social skills that help kids to thrive in social settings, which helps with a sense of belonging and worth.

In summary, everyone will get the pregame jitters at some point, but it’s important to be mindful of when it can become too much.  As parents and coaches strive to support their kids, by recognizing when the stress levels can become problematic, they can begin to help kids to relax and enjoy the game.

Please comment below on anything that you have enjoyed from this post.